Ready to relive the past? Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt are rewatching Girls Next Door — and it isn’t easy for the former girlfriends of Hugh Hefner to relive their Playboy pasts.
“Holly warned me that the first three episodes were really hard to watch. And when she said that, I thought she just meant, like, kind of just getting used to watching them again and once you get past three episodes, you’re good,” Marquardt said during a joint interview with Madison on the “Juicy Scoop With Heather McDonald” podcast on Tuesday, August 16. “I just watched them not last night, but the night before. And I’m still traumatized. I’m sick to my stomach. I can’t sleep, I’ve been crying.”
Girls Next Door, which also starred Kendra Wilkinson, aired for six seasons from 2005 to 2010. (The three women left ahead of season 6.) Marquardt, who is revisiting the show for her and Madison’s “Girls Next Level” podcast, told Heather McDonald that the “way we were portrayed” is upsetting her.
“They make it look like Bridget is, like, plying all the new playmates with drinks to mess them up for their shoot the next day because she’s jealous,” Madison said. “Which isn’t what she said at all, but they cut and paste it. So it looks like she’s literally trying to, like, shove shots in everybody’s face because she wants to sabotage. And I think that’s messed up and borderline illegal.”
Marquardt added that she wanted to be Playmate of the year “so bad” before she officially started dating Hefner so it was “really hard to watch” other women get the gig.
“They just took that made it look like I was ridiculing everybody that came that I was just this jealous bitch that I was getting people drunk and sabotaging their pictorials,” she said. “And even little things too. There was tiny things that at first when I was first watching it, I was like, ‘Oh, they’re just trying to be funny in the edit.’”
When Marquardt noted that the pair were “immediately made out to be bitches,” Madison chimed in, “They never did that to Kendra. Ever.”
The former costars also went down memory lane via A&E’s Secrets of Playboy documentary series earlier this year, which Madison struggled to watch back.
“They did 12 episodes. I watched all of them except episode two. I don’t want to watch myself talk about my trauma again. I can’t take it. But every other episode, I watched — and it came out over the course of 12 weeks. I had nightmares after I watched them,” she said on the podcast. “I had a nightmare I was back at the mansion every single night after Secrets of Playboy.”
While the docuseries featured a series of allegations against Hefner, who died in September 2017 at age 91, and Playboy, hundreds of former Playboy employees, models and Playmates signed a letter calling the accusations “unfounded.”
Scroll through for more from Madison and Marquardt, including their thoughts on several of the claims:

While Madison previously opened up about her sex life with Hefner, Marquardt shared her perspective on “Juicy Scoop,” alleging that she was pressured by one of the other girls to sleep with Hefner after her first official night out with the group. “I was still just gonna watch and then and then she was like, ‘Aren't you gonna go?’ It's like, ‘You need to go.’ And I was like, ‘I would rather not.’ And she's like, ’Well, then probably won't be invited back.’ So then I was like, ‘OK,’” she recalled. “And I'd seen what everybody else was doing, so I knew that this was, like, a 10 second thing. I mean, definitely no more than a minute.” Madison added that “everybody's just trying to get it done as quickly as possible.” Marquardt then said, “After that first night, like, when I tried not to do it, after that, I wanted to be first because there was no way I wanted [to go] after other people. … If there's new girls coming up, which there often were, like, I just wanted to be first and be done. And that I felt like that was the cleanest way.” John Salangsang/Shutterstock

“They didn't pay us for the first season. … When they ordered more episodes, they finally paid us,” Madison alleged, with Marquardt adding it was “very little” money at the beginning. The Holly’s World alum continued, “I just wanted what was fair, like, a couple thousand bucks an episode or something. Just the fact that they didn't want to pay us anything and just expected us to do as the ‘main characters’ of the show. [We] just [signed] a release, no contracts.” Matt Baron/BEI/Shutterstock

When asked about her relationship with Hefner’s two kids with Kimberly Conrad, sons Cooper and Marston, Madison responded, “I wouldn't say we had any relationship with them. They were probably, like, 10 or 11. … And he used to have family night on Tuesdays where, like, the kids and Kimberly would come over and they'd watch a movie. And we just, like, steered clear.” Madison added that “it's pretty safe to say we wouldn't get along,” explaining, “She led this whole thing. After the A&E documentary came out. She got all these people together to sign a petition to say that, like, ‘He’s a great guy,’ so I don't think we'd get along. But we I only talked to her, like, once the whole time I lived there. It was very early on after I moved in. I was working out in the gym, and she was down [at] the gym. And she just said, ‘Hi, I'm Kimberly.’ And that was it.” Matt Baron/Shutterstock

Twins Karissa and Kristina, who appeared on season 6 of Girls Next Door, were candid on Secrets of Playboy, with Karissa claiming that she had an abortion after learning she was pregnant with Hefner’s baby. Madison was shocked by the story as she struggled to get pregnant with Hefner, with IVF failing in the early stages. “I’m never gonna say I don't believe anybody's story because I wasn't there and anything can happen, but it's surprising,” she said. Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/Shutterstock

Madison has alleged that when she and Wilkinson were doing their respective spinoffs, their mutual producer wanted them at odds for press. “When we were leaving, I loved Kendra. We had had, like, kind of our sibling rivalry while we were there. But I felt like after she was with [now ex-husband] Hank [Baskett], she just seemed, like, so much more mature and so happy and I feel like we were all three just so happy for each other and the direction our lives were going,” she said. “Things got weird with me and Kendra and I felt like [the producer] was encouraging that, like, he wanted us fighting, he wanted drama. He wanted me to come on her show and, like, brag about how much money I was making in Vegas, so she'd get a little poke in the ass to do take more jobs to make her show more interesting.” Matt Baron/BEI/Shutterstock

The daughter of Hefner’s former live-in doctor alleged that the two men had a “physical relationship” in the past. “I think, maybe, they were both in the same orgy at the in the ‘70s or something like that,” Madison said. “But when I was with Hef, I always really liked his doctor. … They were close friends, but I never sensed anything, like, romantic or sexual between them. And I always felt like the doctor was super supportive of my and Hef’s relationship. But also, like, things change over the decades, things might have been completely different in the ‘70s than they were in the 2000s. So I don't know what went on back then.” Kcr/Shutterstock
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