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Drew Barrymore: Why I Haven't Been in an 'Intimate Relationship' in Years

Putting it all out there. Drew Barrymore has not held back about the struggles of returning to the dating scene following her split from ex-husband Will Kopelman.

Barrymore and Kopelman tied the knot in 2012 and later welcomed daughters Olive and Frankie. After four years of marriage, the pair announced their split in April 2016.

“Sadly our family is separating legally, although we do not feel this takes away from us being a family,” they said in a joint statement. “Our children are our universe, and we look forward to living the rest of our lives with them as the first priority.”

The Scream actress, who was previously married to Jeremy Thomas and Tom Green, admitted that she “did not take” the divorce well.

“I couldn’t make sense of it,” Barrymore said during an interview with Willie Geist in October 2020, noting that she took it “really hard” at the time. “I think it applies to everyone who thinks that something will be forever and it’s not. It’s so hard. It’s like, I don’t think I’ve recovered from that.”

The Wildflower author revealed that it took her “five years” to look back at the relationship with “strength, articulation, perspective and hindsight,” adding, “I don’t know how to open that up again. Something closed and it stayed closed. I think I’m equally as scared to find love again as I would be as if it never happened.”

Kopelman, for his part, went on to marry Alexandra Michler after his divorce was finalized. Barrymore has previously gushed about adding Michler to their blended family.

“My kids have the most extraordinary stepmom. Our processes have been different. Their side of the street is so functional and whole and happening, and I think I’ve been on the sidelines in a beautiful, honoring purgatory,” the Golden Globe winner said on The Drew Barrymore Show in January 2022. “I’ve been saying that it’s me, it’s my choice. I don’t think I’ve said out loud that it’s really because I have two daughters.”

The Never Been Kissed star revealed that she wasn’t sure how to start dating again now that she is a mother.

“I’m not there yet. I have two young girls, and I don’t want to bring people home. I think that it would take me a very long time to meet someone and get to know them before I could ever even introduce them to my daughters,” she shared.

Scroll down for all of Barrymore’s most candid thoughts about dating:


First Steps
During an episode of Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen, the California native discussed whether she has seen fellow celebs on dating apps. “Oh yes, I did. I mean, it’s not really fun to not say who they were but a lot of them. It was like looking through an Us Weekly,” Barrymore shared during the September 2020 appearance, adding that she approached online dating "terribly" then. “I got stood up, and I didn’t match with anyone. And my friends gave me this sort of bloated sense of false confidence. They were like, ‘You should try it. You will do great.’ It was a car wreck.” She continued: “But, you know, I love being able to be in the conversation, I have to say. Like, I definitely had fun with it. And I’ve always wanted to go on a blind date, but my life got in the way of that, so I thought, like, online dating might satiate that desire. And no, it was a real wake-up call. But it was fun, and yes, there were lots of exciting people.” Gregory Pace/Shutterstock
Finding Humor in the Situation
In February 2021, the Charlie’s Angels star opened up about how Netflix's Bridgerton changed her view on meeting new people romantically. “It was this weird relenting to the fact that I’m probably not going to meet someone in some old-fashioned way," she said on The Late Late Show With James Corden. "I’m not really aggressively looking, but watching this old-fashioned show was weirdly this keyhole entry point for me to accept the modern world because I am so old-fashioned.” Barrymore revealed that being “funny” was an important trait in a potential suitor, saying, “I just want to laugh. That’s always been my big criteria — funny, funny, funny. I love humor, it’s my survival guide. And I can’t get rid of my sense of humor. I laugh at everything, I love laughing. So, funny is my favorite quality in any person.” Gregory Pace/Shutterstock
Still Figuring It Out
“I don’t know how to date with kids,” the Emmy nominee told Bobby Berk during an episode of The Drew Barrymore Show in January 2022. “I’m not there yet. I have two young girls, and I don’t want to bring people home. I think that it would take me a very long time to meet someone and get to know them before I could ever even introduce them to my daughters.”   Charles Sykes/Invision/AP/Shutterstock
Dealbreaker
During an interview with Gayle King in January 2022, Barrymore explained how her expectations had changed over the years, saying, “I would maybe live with someone again. Maybe. But there’s no way I will ever, ever, ever be married again. Nope. There’s no reason to be." Soul Brother/Shutterstock
Looking Back at the Past
During an episode of her talk show, Barrymore revealed she has dreams about her exes. “I think that’s the only place I’m getting action these days, is in my dreams, and every like six months I’ll have the hottest dream and I’ll be like, 'Oh, my God,'” Barrymore shared in March 2022. MirrorUpPhoto/Shutterstock
Drew’s Dating App Profile Pic
The E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial star shared her dating app profile photo with the world — and got the seal of approval from the CBS Morning Show crew in October 2022. The Drew Barrymore Show
A New Outlook
After revealing that she could go “years without sex” during a September 2022 episode of The Drew Barrymore Show, the Never Been Kissed star took to her personal blog to open up about why she hasn’t been in an “intimate relationship” in some time. “After two kids and a separation from their father that has made me cautious, I have had the pleasure of shifting my focus when it comes to love for myself and my two daughters,” she wrote in October 2022. “I know that does not include a man nor has it for a while. I’ve come to realize through working in therapy, he said something and I had to write it down. He said, ‘Sex is not love! It is the expression of love.’ I have searched my whole life to have words like that to help me understand the difference and now, thanks to him, I do.”She added, “And since entering life as a single mom, I have not been able to have an intimate relationship. I have had the honor and pleasure to actually work on myself and learn what parenting is again, something I was not exactly clear on growing up and I’ve had many learning curves thrown my way. I’ve been intimidated.” The Music & Lyrics actress noted that she’s been trying to “find my own way” while teaching her two daughters to “love themselves” above all else. “I am just in a completely different place in my life and maybe in the near future I will get into a relationship,” she explained. “It simply hasn’t been my priority. So I’m not a person who needs sex and has to go out there and engage with people on that level. I am someone who is deeply committed to fostering how young girls, my daughters, and myself as a woman, are supposed to function in this world! A relationship with a man has not been top of mind for me for a very long time.” After revealing that she needed to stay “very celibate” after ending her marriage with Kopelman to honor the “loss of a nuclear family that I swore I would have for my daughters,” Barrymore shared that she was “proud” of herself for how she went about her personal healing journey. “I have just simply come to laugh about the fact that it is not my personal priority to be with a partner, but that doesn’t mean it won’t become one someday. I need time. And my view on sex has truly changed,” she wrote. Stephen Lovekin/Shutterstock
An Unlikely Therapist
Barrymore revealed during an interview with Entertainment Tonight that following George Clooney's October 2022 appearance on her talk show – where he acted as her impromptu “therapist” — the Oceans 8 star spent “an hour and 15 minutes” giving her advice. “George is the kind of person who also doesn't have a wall up and I don't have a wall up,” she shared with ET at the time. “So, if you're talking to a friend pretending to be in therapy or you're actually talking to a real therapist, like, the sooner those walls come down or are not there the quicker you're gonna get to the good stuff, so we just dived right in." She added that the Up in the Air actor is the perfect person for dating advice because he “held out for the right one” and is “someone who always wants the best for people.” “I think he sees sort of bad behavior or negligent behavior or, like, cuckoo behavior and goes, ‘No, no,’ but he’s also the guy that is playing pranks, having the most fun,” she gushed. “[He] is totally devious and delicious, so he sort of embodies someone who is on the right life path like a very sage human being he always has been. He knows good from bad and right from wrong and yet he’s not lacking in any fun or mischief. He’s the most potent combination.” Sara Jaye Weiss/Shutterstock


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