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Joe Alwyn: Why My Romance With Taylor Swift Is So Private

Gorgeous! Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn were first linked in May 2017 and have been notorious for keeping their relationship private ever since.

The couple have remained tight-lipped about their love life since its start, but a source told Us Weekly in March 2020 that they “have talked about their future and marriage.”

The insider noted that the duo are “very much in love” and that Swift “considers Joe one of the only safe constants in her life.”

While the British actor is rumored to be the subject of many of Swift’s songs — including “London Boy” and “Cornelia Street” — she has rarely spoken publicly about their romance.

The Grammy winner did, however, reference her and Alwyn’s love story in her Netflix documentary, Miss Americana.

“I was falling in love with someone who had a wonderfully normal, balanced life,” she said in the film, which was released in January 2020. “We decided together we wanted our relationship to be private. I was happy. But I wasn’t happy in the way I was trained to be happy. It was happiness without anyone else’s input. We were just happy.”

Alwyn, for his part, spoke out in November 2018 about keeping his relationship with the “Mirrorball” singer as quiet as possible.

“Someone’s private life is, by definition, private,” the A Christmas Carol alum told British GQ at the time. “No one is obliged to share their personal life.”

Swift got real in November 2020 about factoring normal aspects of everyday life into their romance. “’Peace’ is actually more rooted in my personal life,” she told Paul McCartney in a Rolling Stone interview at the time. “I know you have done a really excellent job of this in your personal life: carving out a human life within a public life, and how scary that can be when you do fall in love and you meet someone, especially if you’ve met someone who has a very grounded, normal way of living.”

She noted that she made choices so her “life [would] feel more like a real life” that she could control. “Whether that’s deciding where to live, who to hang out with, when to not take a picture — the idea of privacy feels so strange to try to explain, but it’s really just trying to find bits of normalcy,” she added. “That’s what that song ‘Peace’ is talking about. Like, would it be enough if I could never fully achieve the normalcy that we both crave?”

Scroll down to read everything the “Betty” singer and the Boy Erased star have ever said about each other.


On the Public’s Curiosity
More than a year after Alwyn and Swift started dating, the Favourite actor spoke out about their relationship for the first time. “I’m aware people want to know about that side of things,” he said in the October 2018 issue of British Vogue. “I think we have been successfully very private and that has now sunk in for people … but I really prefer to talk about work.” Jerod Harris/Getty Images
On Having a Right to Stay Quiet
There’s a reason why the Brit keeps his mouth shut about dating Swift. “Someone's private life is, by definition, private," he told British GQ in November 2018. "No one is obliged to share their personal life.” LRNYC / MEGA
On Navigating Their Relationship in the Public Eye
In December 2018, Alwyn admitted to Esquire that he doesn’t “seek out advice on” his relationship with the “Delicate” singer because his feelings are clear. “I think there's a very clear line as to what somebody should share, or feel like they have to share, and what they don't want to and shouldn't have to,” he explained. Kevork Djansezian/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank
On the Musician’s Political Stance
The “Look What You Made Me Do” singer broke her silence on politics ahead of the United States' 2018 midterm elections. When asked about her decision at the U.K. premiere of The Favourite, Alwyn said, “I think it's great. I think it's important.” Robert Kamau/GC Images
On Working Together in the Future
Never say never! “It’s not planned at the moment, but who knows,” Alwyn said on the red carpet at the Golden Globes in January 2019. LRNYC / MEGA
On Being Normal
The Mary Queen of Scots actor doesn't think his desire to stay quiet about Swift is shocking. “I don’t think anyone you meet on the streets would just spill their guts out to you, therefore why should I?” he told MR PORTER's The Journal in January 2019. “And then that is defined as being ‘strangely private.’ Fine. But I don’t think it is … I think it’s normal.” Chris J Ratcliffe/Getty Images
On Keeping Things Private
The “Lover” singer opened up about why she’s kept her relationship with Alwyn under wraps during an interview with The Guardian’s Weekend magazine in August 2019. “I’ve learned that if I do [talk about it], people think it’s up for discussion, and our relationship isn’t up for discussion,” Swift said. “If you and I were having a glass of wine right now, we’d be talking about it — but it’s just that it goes out into the world. That’s where the boundary is, and that’s where my life has become manageable. I really want to keep it feeling manageable.” Andrew H. Walker/Shutterstock; Scott Kirkland/FX/Picturegroup/Shutterstock
On Finding Love
The songstress didn’t mention Alwyn by name in her January 2020 Netflix documentary, Miss Americana, but she did speak about falling for someone “who had a really wonderful, normal, balanced kind of life.” She added: “We decided together we wanted our relationship to be private. I was happy. But I wasn’t happy in the way I was trained to be happy. It was happiness without anyone else’s input. We were just happy.” Courtesy of Netflix
On Creating Normalcy
The “Cardigan” singer discussed challenges in her personal life during an interview with Paul McCartney for Rolling Stone magazine in November 2020. She revealed that her song “Peace” is inspired by the couple’s romance. “’Peace’ is actually more rooted in my personal life,” she said. “I know you have done a really excellent job of this in your personal life: carving out a human life within a public life, and how scary that can be when you do fall in love and you meet someone, especially if you’ve met someone who has a very grounded, normal way of living.” She continued: “I, oftentimes, in my anxieties, can control how I am as a person and how normal I act and rationalize things, but I cannot control if there are 20 photographers outside in the bushes and what they do and if they follow our car and if they interrupt our lives. I can’t control if there’s going to be a fake weird headline about us in the news tomorrow.” The Cats actress further explained her choices to make her “life feel more like a real life” instead of a “story line in the tabloids” that she can’t control. Those choices include where to live and when to not take a photo. “The idea of privacy feels so strange to try to explain, but it’s really just trying to find bits of normalcy,” she said. “That’s what that song ‘Peace’ is talking about. Like, would it be enough if I could never fully achieve the normalcy that we both crave?” Shutterstock; Juan Herrero/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock
On Creating Music Together
Swift confirmed in her November 2020 Disney+ special, Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions, that Alwyn cowrote “Exile” and “Betty” under a pseudonym for her album Folklore. “There’s been a lot of discussion about William Bowery and his identity because it’s not a real person,” she said. “So, William Bowery is Joe, as we know. He plays piano beautifully, and he’s always just playing and making things up and kind of creating things. ... It was a step that we would have never have taken, because why would we have ever written a song together?” Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/Shutterstock; David Fisher/Shutterstock
On Their Bond Over Music
“Joe and I really love sad songs. We've always bonded over music,” Swift explained during an Apple Music interview after Folklore’s sister album, Evermore, dropped in December 2020. “I say it was a surprise that we started writing together, but in a way, it wasn't because we have always bonded over music and had the same musical tastes. And he's always the person who's showing me songs by artists and then they become my favorite songs or whatever. But yeah, ‘Champagne Problems,’ that was one of my favorite bridges to write. I really love a bridge where you tell the full story in the bridge, like, you really shift gears in that bridge.” Shutterstock (2)
On Writing ‘Exile’
“He's always just playing instruments and he doesn't do it in a strategic, ‘I’m writing a song right now’ thing,” she told Zane Lowe in December 2020. “He's always done that. But do I think we would have taken the step of, ‘Hey, let's see if there's a song in here. Let's write a song together?’ If we hadn't been in lockdown, I don't think that would have happened, but I'm so glad that it did. We're so proud of that one. Also, because I do remember the exact moment that I walked in and he was playing that exact piano part. And all I had to do was follow the piano melody with the verse melody. So, because the vocal melody is exactly the same, pretty much it's mirrored with the piano part that he wrote. And we did the same thing with 'Evermore,’ where I'll just kind of hear what he's doing and it's exactly, it's all there. All I have to do is dream up some lyrics and come up with some gut-wrenching, heart-shattering story to write with him.” Shutterstock (2)
On Supporting Each Other, No Matter What
In a candid February 2021 interview with Vanity Fair, Swift reflected on why she was "always told it’s better to stay out of" politics as a country artist. Eventually, however, she felt like she couldn't continue to stay silent and received a confidence boost from her beau when she finally chose to use her platform. "I found myself talking about government and the presidency and policy with my boyfriend, who supported me in speaking out," the "Gold Rush" singer recalled. "I started talking to my family and friends about politics and learning as much as I could about where I stand. I'm proud to have moved past fear and self-doubt, and to endorse and support leadership that moves us beyond this divisive, heartbreaking moment in time." Taylor Jewell/Invision/AP/Shutterstock; VEVO
On Being Monogamous
Alwyn plays Nick Conway, a man in an open relationship, in Hulu's Conversations With Friends, but the actor confirmed that he has a very different romantic life than his character. “I think people can do what they want and makes them happy. I’m obviously happy in a monogamous relationship,” he noted during a panel for the show in February 2022 via Deadline. Javier Etxezarreta/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock
On Dating a Massively Famous Person
“It’s not something I think about, unless I’m in situations like this, and someone says, ‘What’s it like?’ and I have to think about what to say about it," he told The Guardian in April 2022. "It’s just not for other people and I don’t say that with aggression.” He added, "I don’t know how best to talk about it. I mean, I’m aware of people’s … of that size of interest, and that world existing. It’s just not something I particularly care about, or have much interest in feeding, I guess, because the more it’s fed, the more you are opening a gate for intrusion. ... I think that’s just my response to a culture that has this increasing expectation that everything is going to be given. If you don’t post about the way you make your coffee in the morning, or if you don’t let someone take a picture when you walk out of your front door, is that being private? I don’t know if it is. So I just don’t really feed that.” Shutterstock (2)


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